Losing someone important to you has this way of... completely warping our perspective.
Grief causes us to hyper focus on what we've lost, making it difficult to enjoy and appreciate all that we have. The background of our minds becoming a constant hum of thoughts; family events forever changed, comforts no longer shared, and longing for closure we'll never get. Guilt makes us look back on our time together and wish we could do some things differently, things we never did but wish we had, because somehow... maybe, that one thing could have made all the difference. But with these also comes fear and doubt; that while we're sitting here looking back and upset at all our mistakes, how can we trust in ourselves that we won't continue to make those mistakes in the future? How can we move forward and find happiness, when this person is no longer here to share it with us?
This is when we're faced with a choice: We can either let these emotions completely take over our lives, or we can honor them and let them go.
We can sit in the sadness and obsess on things we can't change; staying frozen in this perpetual cycle of eventual self sabotage or, we can figure out how to move forward and make the most of our remaining time.
Regardless of our guilt or fear, those that truly love us would never want us to waste a single moment of this life that we don't have to. They know (better than we do even with this reminder) how temporary and finite of a resource time is. They would want us to grieve how we must, but to grow through it. These emotions will be guests again all too soon, we owe it to ourselves to enjoy our lives in between. Living our lives even more authentically and true to who we are because they believed we could do it before and that doesn't change now.
Life (and death) is coming and happening to each and every one of us, with or without our permission.
So when we feel buried under all these things, we have to be like the weeds. Stretch our leaves to any source of light we have, break through the layers we've been buried under, and have our time in the sun while we can.
All those things we wish we could have done differently, can be done differently with the people still here. All the lessons our grief, guilt, fear and doubt have taught us can help us shape our lives into something we can be proud of when we ourselves come to that point.
Because if there's one thing mine have taught me, it's that we're blessed in spite of all we've lost.
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